What if you could ask the opposite sex anything?
“What if you could ask the opposite sex anything?” was the name of the workshop Mary Jo recently led 30 singles for “Denver’s Best Dating, Mating and Relating MeetUp Group’s” workshop. Our group was mostly 40 years old and older. Our task was to discuss questions we wanted the opposite sex to answer. We were given 10-15 minutes to come up with questions and then presented those to the group, Mary Jo would select various questions, give those back to us and we were to discuss the answers.
When starting to date again ask the opposite sex what their views are on dating.
If you haven’t dated in years, online dating and social media has changed the dating “protocol.” Manners, politeness and common courteously are still important, while many of the old rules have changed and “sped up.” What we perceived as rules in the past are no longer the same, we need to be in agreement with our opposite sex dating partner. Don’t be asking the opposite sex what the rules are if they haven’t been dating for years. And those under the age of 30 have some different rules but also overlapping rules than those over 40.
How soon should a guy call after the first date?
Among the first questions asked was: “How soon should a guy call after the first date?”
The consensus was: “If the excitement is there, the next day.” Some women, feel it’s OK for them (women) to call/text the guy the next day. Texting to say “thank-you” is considered OK, and is acceptable the first night as long as it was kept short. This is contrary to other guidelines, the challenge is that everyone is different and you do what works and feels comfortable for you.
“Why don’t some guys call?”
Other than the guy NOT being interested there was not another answer. The conclusion was that after a week of no calls, there is very little interest and it is best to move on. (Of course there are valid exceptions). If you are dating, there is no reason to put up with inconsiderate people.
When is it OK to have sex?
“When is it OK to have sex,” the surprising answer was: “After both partners have a STD test.”
It was suggested that they get tested at Planned Parenthood together.
Sexual exclusivity is suggested at this point.
Do men put a dollar value on dates? (i.e. if the man paid for the dates do men feel that women “owe” them sex after a certain dollar value?)
None of the men around me had heard of this.
Planning activities in a relationship.
In an equal relationship it is suggested that both partners plan the activities that they want to do and if at all possible the planning should be close to being equal.
My experience is that one partner will end up planning the events, but the couple should try to share this responsibility.
Our bodies are changing, how do we deal with the opposite sex?
Other questions involved “body image.” As we get older, our flab and wrinkles begin to show, how do we deal with the opposite sex? The reality is that most of us are going to accept this change, yes we may want someone that is 20-30 years younger, but most of us will not have the money to support someone that much younger. It is important that individuals have a positive attitude towards themselves. Those that have a poor image of themselves will bring negativity not only into the bedroom but also the relationship.
Communication is the most important factor in any relationship.
One of the key factors of any relationship is communication. There is a difference between communication and conversations. We agreed that there are some conversations that the opposite sex doesn’t care about and that each partner may be on a “different level in a conversation,” the important thing is to keep up the communication. An important part of communication is partners need to keep in touch with each other and how to support each other.
Sitting arrangements in restaurants.
A side note, when in a restaurant what are the sitting arrangements? A comment was that if a couple is sitting on opposite sides of the table, that could inhibit communication. For some communication it was suggested that the couple sit next to each, so they could touch each other or hold hands. The negative side was that it is hard to see your partner’s face and that your food could be dropping on you. The conclusion was that you need to pay attention to your partner and have both verbal and nonverbal communications.
There were many other questions that were asked of the opposite sex at different tables, these are the ones that stood out for me.
This is from Mary Jo Fay’s MeetUp group, Denver’s Best Dating, Mating and Relating MeetUp Group. Currently meets the first Tuesday of the Month at Mercury Café. Check Denver’s MeetUp calendar to join the group.
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