First Dates, do you have difficulty get past first dates ?
Are your aware of what you do on a date?
Often because of our ignorance, we strike out again. We seem to get first dates but somehow can’t land a second date. You’d think that after 189 first dates, we had enough practice to fix the problem.
Are we may be making the same mistakes time after time? We may not realize the importance of first dates. We need to open our eyes in order to prepare ourselves to deal with the guidelines Dates follow on first dates.
First dates almost always have an “interview” which can make it or break it.
First dates will often take a chance and give us their phone number based on the first impression the Date has of us, but we still have to pass the “interview” on first dates, which is much more important than first impressions.
Each new first date is a big day. Pretending it’s just another ho-hum night can be a recipe for disaster, or at least another lost potential. First Dates are always giving us tests and looking for clues that will signal whether or not we’re going to be a “nice guy – but no thanks.”
By knowing and avoiding the top red flags Dates look for on first dates, we can make plans for a second one. Before that next date, make sure you’re not committing these first date killers: (1) poor grooming, (2) lack of style, (3) poor transportation planning, and (4) negative behaviors.
Combing your hair, washing your eyes and chewing gum is not going to help you score big points. First dates, calls for a full body wash.
Don’t just take a body shower; wash your hair. Get a close shave, clean your ears, clip your nails, brush your teeth, scrub your tongue and for heaven sake check the nose and ear hairs.
First dates can be stressful. Avoid odors and sweat spots by wearing fresh deodorant. Choose a great cologne and apply it at least an hour ahead, you don’t want to overpower your date. Good hygiene is an essential element of attraction.
Clothes make the man and you can bet your date will evaluate your appearance from the outside in, so it’s in your best interest to dress stylishly. There is no one right way to dress. Different styles look good on different people, so check out the latest trends and choose a style that will suit you.
If you need some help ask your women friends.
A simple classic look is a nice button-down shirt, with dressy pants and stylish shoes (very important).
Shoes can literally make or break an entire outfit — this cannot be stressed enough. Make sure your shoes match the rest of your outfit, and that they are of the latest style in excellent shape and well polished. This means that it’s time to get rid of your desert boots and Doc Martens.
On first dates, well, really every date; show your Date that you can plan an event to make it as enjoyable as possible.
If you invited her, make sure you make the proper arrangements, so that you can get your Date to the planned destination without much effort. Here are some rules to keep in mind:
Clean car both inside and out (clean the inside of windshield)
Empty ashtrays and use baking soda to absorbed odor,(try not to smoke in car)
Know where you’re going.
Know how to get there.
Never ask your date to pick you up.
Never plan to meet at the destination, unless she insists.
Know what the parking situation is.
What behaviors are you putting out?
Check with a close friend to see what if you display any of the following behaviors. If you do, you might want to make some attitude adjustments.
Is your date enjoying themselves?
Ask her if she’s enjoying herself, and if she’s not, don’t hesitate to switch to Plan B. You do have a Plan B, don’t you?
Don’t be Cheap
Make sure you pay for the first round. It’s ok to let her pick up the next one if she offers. If you don’t pay for the first round, you’re cheap. If you are not willing to invest in the relationship neither will she.
Control Your Drinking
You can bet that she’s keeping count on how much gulping you’re doing.
Don’t Touch Her
You can never go wrong by not making any moves on first dates. The only exceptions are offering a hand when she gets out of the car or offering an arm if it is slippery out. An ill-timed grab for anything but a door will make you look sexually eager.
Don’t Compliment Her Body
It will make her aware that you’re checking her out. Even if you mean well, you’ll come off as a drooling womanizer. Instead say something like, “You look great.”
Keep your past buried, complaining about your ex-relationship or women in general is like signing a death wish. It won’t make you look good, you won’t score any points. It makes you look weak.
Respect your date like you should respect your mother. You’re not with the guys or in the bathroom.
Don’t fall over yourself
Some guys are just so eager to impress that they’ll literally do anything for their date. Unfortunately, women see this as a sign of both weakness and desperation: a major turnoff in the game of love.
While some men are busy planning to bed their dates, others begin talking about marriage and children and the long term.
First dates are meant for people to get to know one another enough to decide whether they want a second one. If you start with the future, you’ll get the famous, “Listen you’re a nice guy, but I need my space” response. Keep the conversation light-hearted.
Here’s how you can win her over.
Okay, now you know all the moves to avoid, but what about the right ones that will make her want a second and third date? Well, they’re not too hard to figure out:
The winning moves
Stay mysterious and don’t divulge too much about yourself. The less you tell her, the more she’ll want to know. If you want to impress, keep your ears open and your mouth shut, after all, mystery is the greatest aphrodisiac.
When she begins to ask you all the questions, turn the tables and give her the first dates interview test. Ask her questions about life, education, work, and career goals. Let her know — through your questions — that a simple pretty face will not suffice to keep you interested; you want a woman with depth.
This will make her feel like she has to prove her value to you rather than vice versa, which, in turn, reinforces her belief that you are a rare and valuable person who doesn’t date just any woman with good looks — no, you’ve got standards and you stick by them.
Have an opinion but don’t be argumentative
Don’t agree with everything she has to say. Women respect men who maintain their own opinion and don’t let women walk all over them. Remain respectful with yourself, and women will find you more valuable and interesting.
Patience Is A Virtue
Don’t be too aggressive or pushy; you might come across as being a potential desperate stalker. By displaying patience, you’ll be sure not to scare women away.
A date is a date; it’s not do-or-die time. Be in the right state of mind by reminding yourself to have a good time. After all, you’re a confident, fun and interesting person.
Display Of Affection
Just because you’re on a date, doesn’t mean that you’re married or dating seriously. Don’t try to hold her hand, put your arm around her shoulder or tongue her to death. A simple kiss on the cheek at the end of the evening will get you a lot further ahead. Remember there are a lot of things going on in first dates and each of you may have a different view of a successful date.
Unless of course, you feel that you had a really successful date — and I’m not talking about your Willy, I’m talking about signs your date is “kiss” ready, such as her facing you, arms down, head tilted upwards, she doesn’t seem to be ending the date, her lips are parted, and she’s looking right into your eyes. Then you could kiss her genius. But not with the French Kiss on the first date.
What to talk about
Avoid taboo topics on the first date such as sex, your ex, politics, and religion. Instead, focus on open ended questions such as: Where have you vacationed. If you could go any place in the world, where and why? If you could invite six people to dinner, who would they be and why? If you could own any building in the world, what one and why? If you could be any person in history, who and why? What season do you enjoy the most and why? And so on.
When to follow-up.
In order to avoid looking too desperate, most men wait seven to ten days before calling back. Best recommendation is that you call within two to three days to tell her you had a nice time and to make plans for another date.
There you have it, first dates can be as easy as a walk in the park. Use your imagination, common sense, and treat your date in a similar fashion as you’d like to be treated, and I’m sure your date will be back for a second serving.
Rent or see the movie Kate & Leopold for some pointers.